You remember how once you have grown up, and no longer under parental control, you tell your parents about some of the stunts you pulled that you got away with?
Yes. Those things. I did it. It was fun to horrify them, and not get grounded.
It’s coming home to roost now. The past few days, Ass Burger Boy has been revealing some of the things he did that I had no knowledge of at the time.
How about the time he performed a fake seizure in the high school hallway? Why did the school not contact me? Apparently, he thought it was hilarious, and the spectators wrote it off as a bid for attention.
Or the time in junior high he approached his math teacher with bandages on his wrists? A fake suicide, big funny. Not. I didn’t hear anything about that one either. Which made me wonder, just how outrageous were his other behaviours that these incidents were not reported to me?
Oh, I did hear about the time he was messing with the cheerleaders’ minds by talking about a voodoo doll. But I felt partly to blame for telling that story within his earshot in the first place.
He did announce proudly how he fixed it so no teacher would question him if he wanted to leave the classroom.
Teacher: And why are you asking to leave the room?
ABB: I need to take a big, steaming, dump.
I guess word spread throughout the teacher’s lounge that he should just be allowed to leave quietly.
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